Eyes on the Prize

Maybe, to you, your most unfortunate and ludicrous circumstances are no fault of your own, and it is only an additional misfortune that you've been driven to such lengths -- but the fact of the matter is that, when all is said and done, you need your situation upended so badly that you've ended up fake-married about it.

Unfortunately for you, there's nothing more appealing to the rumor-mongers and scandal-hobbyists of court society than an unusual marriage. If the two of you want a chance to meet your goals, you'll have to play your parts, and you'll have to play them immaculately.

Get your shit done, don't get caught, and absolutely don't fall in love. That would be so embarrassing.